Gazing From Space.

Have you ever had an experience that whips your perspective into shape?

A moment when you realize that the little things really really don't matter.

Like cake stands and center pieces, colors of picture frames and exact kinds of fruit to be served.

A few weeks ago, I participated in my last performance with the UVU Symphony orchestra. We were asked to play at Graduation Commencement. I was dreading the performance, knowing that we'd play for no more than 10 minutes and then be asked to sit through 2 hours of boring speeches. I went in with a bad attitude..but walked out like I owned the world. The commencement speaker was a woman named Anousheh Ansari. She was an astronaut, and the first woman of Iranian descent to go into space.

She didn't speak the best English, and you could tell she was pretty nervous, but the words that she said were incredibly powerful.  She talked about her experience in space, looking down out of the space craft down to earth. She explained the emotions that she felt as she gazed down at our planet. She spoke about the lack of lines and divisions between states, countries, and ultimately, people. She comes from a place where hate is strong and lines, visible or not, are drawn everywhere. As she looked down from space, she felt a wave of emotion and gratitude as she realized that how little some things matter, those things often being what we pay most attention to.

I had my own "gazing from space" moment this last weekend. One that took me away and allowed me to see a bigger picture.

I had met Steven on Friday afternoon in Salt Lake where we picked up our engagement photos for our announcement and attended a concert for my little sister, Loline. We met with Loline and Adam and Natalie at Cafe Rio after for a yummy dinner of chicken salads and pork burritos. We hung out and laughed and enjoyed our Friday night and million calories. 

We hopped in the car to head back to Utah County, when Steven got a call from his mom. I knew as soon as he said hello that something wasn't right. The phone call was short and we were both in tears by the end as Janine told us that Ricki, Steven's 14 year old sister, had been at home with Nathan, Steven's oldest brother, when she had two series of seizures, and she was unresponsive, being rushed to the hospital.  We drove as safely and quickly as we could up to Logan Regional Medical Center, where we saw Ricki for five minutes before she got in a helicopter. She had a CT scan that revealed several masses in her brain and one in her chest. They did not have the equipment or the staff to suffice up in Logan, and they flew her down to Primary Children's. Steven and I were in Logan for five minutes with Ricki, telling her how much we loved her and giving her hugs and kisses, before we hopped right back in the car back down to Primary Children's to meet her when she got there. This began a roller coaster weekend for our sweet little sister. We were up at Primary's until 4:30 in the morning, where Ricki had to do test after test, and given anti-seizure medications to calm her system down. She was admitted into the ICU around 4:00 am and was scheduled for an MRI and additional tests the following day.

Ricki has been diagnosed with a genetic disease called Neurofibromatosis-Type II. NF2 is a disorder characterized by formation of neurofibromas (tumors involving nerve tissue) in the skin, subcutaneous tissue, cranial nerves, and spinal root nerves. The tumors that form from this disease are called neuroma, schwannoma, gliomas, and meningiomas. From the MRI, they found several tumors in her brain, including one the size of a golf ball pushing on the frontal lobe which in turn was causing the seizures. The also has two schwannoma near her ears, one large one in her chest near her left collarbone, and numerous up and down her spine, in and around her spinal cavity. She was in the hospital from Friday night until Monday morning when they released her for two days before she went back this morning for open brain surgery to remove the tumor pushing on her frontal lobe.

As we've sat with Ricki in her hospital room in the Neuro Trauma Unit at Primary Children's Medical Center, I have come to realize over and over how little the small things matter. As I looked at that sweet 14 year old red head, in her hospital gown, snuggled up with her stuffed animal, Moe, with a smile on her face and a sparkle in her eye, I have, in a way, felt like I'm up in space, gazing down at earth and at my life, and watching lines disappear and the miniscule things vanish from importance. It no longer a matter of what my cake stand will look like at the wedding, it's if Ricki will be at the wedding. It's not the scary fact that Steven and I may be moving hundreds miles away from our families, but the fact that he and I will be together. It's not the sadness that we felt as Grandpa Jensen left this earth on Thursday, it's that he's surrounded by his parents, siblings, and children that have passed also.

I've also come to realize that gazing from space is the birds eye view that our Heavenly Father ALWAYS has. I've been blessed to have small glimpses of the big picture these last few days, but that is always His view. His perspective is always the big picture and his hand is always in everything. Trials may come and things may get scary. The unexpected is going to happen. Fourteen year old's may have to change their life plan and have surgery after surgery after surgery.  But in turn, families come together, prayers are said, people fast, and miracles happen.

I challenge you to take a step back and try to look at life by gazing down from space.

Eliminate the little things, don't let them take priority. 

Let people help you, and don't ever hesitate to help others. 

This life is way too short and way too precious to be taken for granted.

Forgive and forget, don't be offended easily

Love the people that are closest to you. They will always love you, don't make it hard to love you.
 

Give your siblings a hug and tell them you love them.

Let your parents how know how much they mean to you and how grateful you are for them.

Give a dollar to someone on a street corner.

Strive to have the light of Christ in your eyes, and never be ashamed to let it shine.

Give much, and expect less.

Love and love and love. Never stop loving.

And most of all, get on your knees every single day, and thank your Maker for the life he has given you. Thank him for the challenges and the strength that he gives you to get through each one. Sing praises to him and never forget that it is through Him that you can find true happiness.

xoxoAbigail  

If you would like to know more about Ricki's story and her battle with Neurofibromatosis-Type II, visit her blog at rickinicolejensen.blogspot.com